You're Gay!
by kelayna
Summary: Ichigo finds out a little too much about Yumichika and complications arise... and hilarity ensues
1. Chapter 1

_Okay…I wanted to do a fanfic with a pairing that I had never seen before. So, here is what you get: Ichigo x Yumichika! Please don't blow my head off or anything! This is purely for fun! Oh, and it deviates from the actual anime/manga in plot, though it starts out at the time when the shinigami come to Karakura town to help fight hollows. Sometime just before Orihime gets kidnapped._

_Warnings: I'm rating this M because of language and adult situations (i.e. possible lemon). Oh, and I have no beta, so excuse misspellings or run-on sentences or left out words and the like._

_Kelayna_

Ayasegawa Yumichika slipped quietly out the front door while no one was looking and breathed a huge sigh of relief as soon as he had safely arrived on the other side of the street from that scary house with those scary people! Asano Keigo had so graciously allowed (under fear of death!) he and his good buddy, Madarame Ikkaku, to sleep at his house with him and his sister while they were staying in the living world. Keigo's sister was the reason why Yumichika was currently sneaking away from the house on tiptoe. Oh, it didn't really have anything to do with Yumichika himself, rather it had to do with Ikkaku. Apparently Keigo's sister had a thing for bald guys, and well, Ikkaku was glaringly bald with a nice shiny head. Hence, Keigo's sister was all over Ikkaku constantly and wouldn't quit squealing or mooning over Ikkaku. It was driving Yumichika nuts! He had to get out of that house and he had to do it sneakily, because if Ikkaku saw him leave then he would want to come too which would mean that annoying girl would follow as well and then he wouldn't be getting away from it at all!

So, now he was safely across the street from the house and he took off at a comfortable (and very beautiful, mind you) jog. At first he didn't know where he was going but then it seemed that his feet had decided to carry him in the direction of Ichigo's house. Ah, Kurosaki Ichigo, the substitute shinigami and the guy they had all come to Karakura town to help. Yumichika had never really had much contact with the guy up until he came to the human world this time, and now he had been seeing quite a lot of him. As it turned out, Yumichika actually found this strange orange haired boy rather beautiful. Whenever he was near him he found himself spending great quantities of time just staring dreamily at the boy. His height and weight were the perfect proportion to each other. He had just enough muscle to make him look like he was at the peak of fitness (which he was), but not so much that it started looking gross and overdone. He face was sculpted so wonderfully and proportionally and even his bright orange hair somehow didn't look out of place, but rather added to the whole startling effect. Yes, this boy was just beautiful; an artist would die to paint a picture of him! Well, at least, that is what Yumichika thought. So, yes, he would visit the boy, if only to gaze at him for awhile.

In a couple more steps he arrived at said boy's house and stood looking at the front door for a moment before lifting his hand and knocking. He knew that all the other crazy psycho shinigami that had come with him to the real world never bothered with the door and always jumped in Ichigo's window. But seriously, how beautiful was that?! It was ugly and rude to jump, unanouced into someone's bedroom. So, he waited at the door. A moment later the door was opened by a cute little blonde girl who was wearing an apron and had a wooden spoon in her right hand. _How adorable!_ Yumichika thought with glee.

"Um, can I help you?" the little girl asked hesitantly.

"Oh, yes, excuse my rudeness. Is Ichigo at home?" Yumichika responded quickly.

"Uh, yes, he is!" the girl's blonde head nodded vigorously. "Please come and I'll get him for you!"

So, Yumichika thanked the girl and stepped into the house, waiting in the tiny foyer for the girl, who must have been Ichigo's little sister, to bring Ichigo back with her. A couple of minutes later and the little girl appeared again with a smile on her face and a grumpy looking Ichigo trailing behind her. Ichigo glanced up to see who had so rudely interrupted his nap and his eyes snapped wide open at seeing who it was.

"Yumichika?!" he yelled in an obscenely loud voice. "What the hell are you doing here?! And at night?!!" He waved a hand wildly in the direction of outside.

Yumichika grinned at him and said, "Well, that should be obvious. I came to see you, Ichigo."

"Why in the world would you come to see me?!" Ichigo demanded in just as loud a voice. "Besides, weren't you and Ikkaku staying with Keigo or something like that?" He scratched the back of his head, perplexed. Why was Yumichika standing here in his foyer, wearing a pair of nice jeans and a button up shirt, looking at him with a big smile on his face? A big, creepy smile, rather.

Yumichika's face fell when he heard the names 'Ikkaku', and 'Keigo'. "Yes, I was staying there," he groaned. "But Keigo's sister has a crush on Ikkaku because he's bald and she won't quit squealing and carrying on and I just couldn't stand it anymore. So, I left."

"And you decided to come here?!" Ichigo choked out."Why in the world?! And wait, Keigo's sis has a crush on Ikkaku _because_ he's bald?!"

"That's what I said," Yumichika answered patiently. "And I came here because you aren't as bad to be in the presence of as everyone else I could think of and I'm not going to spend the night outside. Oh, and are you going to invite me any further into your house or are we just going to spend the whole evening standing in the foyer?"

"Ah! Sorry!" Ichigo apologized quickly and motioned with his hand for Yumichika to follow him as he walked off through the kitchen and living room and then up the stairs to his bedroom. He opened the door and let Yumichika in ahead of him, following him in and shutting the door. He plopped down on his bed and scratching the back of his head he peered up at Yumichika who was still standing still in the middle of the room and said, "So, are you gonna sit down anytime soon or you just gonna stand there all night?"

"Oh!" Yumichika started, he had been in a little daze looking around at Ichigo's rather sparse room. He walked over to the desk and sat down in the chair, turning it so it faced Ichigo. "I hope you don't mind me coming over. I just really couldn't stand that place for two seconds longer. I might have killed everyone!"

Ichigo threw back his head and laughed. "Haha! Yeah, if Keigo's sister is anything like him then it's probably horrible with two of them in the house at the same time! Wow, poor Ikkaku! Naw, I take that back. Ikkaku's just getting what was coming to him! Haha!!"

Yumichika studied the laughing Ichigo, who was oblivious to the scrutinizing stare. Ichigo looked so…so…gorgeous when he laughed! Yumichika hadn't thought that he could get any more beautiful than he already was but now he knew that he had been wrong in that assumption. So beautiful! Suddenly Ichigo's laughter stopped.

"Um, why are you staring at me like that, Yumichika?" Ichigo asked nervously. "You're seriously freaking me out, dude." He scuttled back a little bit further on his bed and stared with wide eyes at the fanatical and adoring look on Yumichika's face. Yumichika didn't answer, mainly because he didn't hear Ichigo at all. He was too entranced. "Yo, dude!" Ichigo yelled, waving a hand in front of Yumichika's face. "Quit staring at me as if you are in love with me! What are you? Gay?!"

Yumichika snapped out of it suddenly when he heard those words. He sat back and looked with wide eyes at Ichigo and then he calmed down and said very serenely, "Why yes, actually, I am gay."

_Author's notes:_

_Alright guys, you know that Yumichika is gay. I mean, he obviously has to be! Look at that hair! And that eye brow ornament. And for heaven's sake, even his shinigami robes are dressed up! So, yeah, I just had to add that in. Tune in next time to find out how Ichigo takes this news!_

_Matane!_


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2: WTF?!

Ichigo just sat perfectly still for a moment and stared at Yumichika. The black haired man idly wondered if anyone's eyes could seriously get any bigger than Ichigo's were at that very moment. Then suddenly, and rather startlingly, Ichigo calmed down completely and looked right at Yumichika with absolutely no expression on his face and stated in a rather deadpanned sort of voice, "Seriously, Yumichika, that's not something to joke about. You could really scare a person just spoutin' off shit like that out of nowhere."

Yumichika raised one fine eyebrow and spoke back just as calmly, "I am being serious Ichigo. I really am gay. As in, homosexual, as in, I like guys!"

Ichigo just stared calmly for a couple of seconds more before the sincerity of the man's statement managed to sink it's way completely into his brain. Once the message got to the brain, however, all hell broke loose. Ichigo leapt up from his place on the bed and flattened himself against the wall next to his window, staring at Yumichika with wide eyes. "You, you're really gay!" He spluttered out, pointing one trembling finger at the man still sitting calmly in the chair at the desk. Yumichika just nodded. "Shit, that's just messed up man! I mean, why in the world did you just tell me that! I could have seriously lived the rest of my days in perfect bliss without knowing that you, you, um…well, have the hots for guys!" the poor orange haired teen choked out and then slumped down on his bed with his back still against the wall carefully eying Yumichika as if the man were suddenly going to take it into his head to molest him right then and there.

"Hmmm…actually I seem to recall you asking me if I was gay. Which is why I told you of course." Yumichika stated logically. He tilted his head to one side for a moment just looking at the paranoid boy and slowly his eyes took on the sheen of a hard glare that also had mischief dancing at the edges of them. "Don't look down on people just because they like something different than you do, Ichigo." He stated pointedly with some heat in his voice. "Besides, usually people who react that strongly when they hear someone is gay only do so because they feel insecure about their own sexuality." Now a really mischievous grin spread its way slowly across Yumichika's handsome face and he leaned forward to get himself closer to the boy for effect as he said in a low, hushed voice, "I also happen to know that several people you are very close to and consider friends are similarly inclined towards the same sex." He then sat back and watched as those words sunk their way into Ichigo's now horribly overwrought brain.

"What the fuck!!!" Ichigo predictably exploded a few seconds later. He was now on the edge of his bed again glaring at Yumichika. "You don't need to tell me these things!" He threw his hands into the air and glanced heavenward. "Now I'm going to be scarred for life thanks to you! And I'll be constantly paranoid and wondering who it is that's gay! And it's ALL YOUR fault!" He ended up pointing one finger accusingly right in the center of Yumichika's face and glaring. You could practically see steam sprouting out his ears and nose.

Yumichika rolled his eyes. This house was turning out to be just as noisy as the one he had left only half an hour ago. However, it was fairly interesting to watch Ichigo turn so many different shades of red and go through so many different moods within just the course of a few minutes. The black haired man smiled slightly to himself as he realized that once again Ichigo's mood was changing. Sure enough, Ichigo quit staring and poking his finger rudely at Yumichika just to slump his shoulders and bury his face in his hands. _Aww, he looks so cute like that!_ Yumichika thought to himself with stars in his eyes.

After a couple more seconds Ichigo slowly raised his head and peered out carefully between his parted fingers. Yumichika raised one eyebrow. Was that a blush on Ichigo's cheeks?! "Um, hey, Chika," Ichigo asked rather innocently, slowly pulling his hands away from his face. _Where the hell did that nickname come from?_ Yumichika twitched a bit as his other eyebrow rose as well. "Do you think, I mean, who are the other people I know that are gay?" Ichigo finished quickly, his voice barely above a whisper. But now he looked a little less intimidated and actually seriously curious as to who these people were.

Yumichika glared at the poor kid and ground out, "I'm not going to tell you if you are just going to go spastic on me again and make life miserable for those people by acting weird around them or going out of your way to stay the hell away from them!" Yumichika's glare was rather convincing and rather scary when he was actually pissed and Ichigo was rightly a bit intimidated by this side of the normally calm and happy man. But at the moment he just really wanted to know who these people were that were gay that he apparently knew so well. Damn it, it was just eating him up inside not to know and he would do anything to find out!

"Okay, I understand," the orange hair bowed down for a brief moment in acquiescence to the older man. "I won't act weird and I won't say anything and I WON'T run away from them. So can you PLEASE tell me?!" He finished in near desperation as he looked back up into Yumichika's face eagerly.

Yumichika just looked at the kid for a moment and then he grinned. Well, the poor boy brought this on himself. Who was he to keep this all a secret now? Besides, if he knew the kid even a little then he knew that if he wasn't told the truth now then he would just go out and analyze everyone's actions a little bit too closely and come to some really wrong and potentially embarrassing conclusions. So, Yumichika raised his head a little higher and said, "Okay, I'll tell you, but on one condition." Ichigo looked suspicious but said, "yes, what is that?" "Only that you never call me "Chika" every again!" Yumichika glaringly flung at the orange haired teen. "That is NOT a beautiful name!"

"Oh," Ichigo said looking surprised at the sudden outburst, "Yeah, sorry man, won't do that again. Okay, so it that all? You'll really tell me?"

Yumichika sighed and nodded. "Shall I start with soul society or the human world?"

"Um, human world first." Ichigo quickly decided, now sitting right on the edge of his bed in anticipation. This promised to be good.

"Okay, so let's see," Yumichika began, tapping his chin with this forefinger and gazing up at the ceiling contemplatively. "Ah yes, there is one of your friends that you should really know about. If you think hard enough I'm sure you'll be able to figure it out on your own, but I'm nice, so I'll tell you. It's…"

The sound of Ichigo's substitute shinigami badge sounding a hollow alert broke off the next word in Yumichika's sentence and caused the orange haired shinigami to curse colorfully. Unfortunately, it looked like the juicy gossip would have to wait awhile.

_Authors Note: Okay, so sorry I left this on another cliffhanger. Thing is, it's late and I have to work tomorrow and well, you know. So hope you enjoyed this one! I'll try to post more as soon as possible!_


	3. Chapter 3

_Okay, so this is REALLY late! So sorry!!! Please forgive!!! My internet connection has been awful ever since I moved. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't, and hell if I'm going to post this using my parents computer!!! It doesn't matter if I'm nearly 24, they'll burn me alive if they find out what I write! Grrr…. So, anyways, here is the next chapter. Hope you enjoy!_

Ichigo had pressed his shinigami badge to his chest and was out his window in shinigami form almost before Yumichika could blink. He shook his head as he looked at Ichigo's limp, lifeless body on the bed and then he popped a soul pill into his mouth and detached his shinigami form from the gigai. "Stay here", he ordered the gigai sternly, "and watch Ichigo's body." Then he too jumped out the window with a little shake of his head thinking about how rude it was to jump in and out of people's windows. He paused on the rooftop briefly to find Ichigo's reiatsu, which wasn't hard to do seeing as it just poured off of him in an uncontrolled manner, and then he took off in the direction Ichigo had gone. It didn't take him long to catch up to the orange haired boy but when he did he saw something he hadn't expected to see. Ichigo was simply standing there staring, with his zanpaktou pulled, as Abarai Renji leapt into the air with a yell and slashed down with Zabimaru right through the hollow's skull. With a bright flash of light the hollow split in two and then disappeared into the air. Renji landed lightly on the ground, sheathed his sword and brushed off his hands. That was when he turned to find Ichigo and Yumichika standing there staring at him in silence. "Oh hey, guys!" He called out, waving.

"WHAT THE FUCK!!!???" Ichigo suddenly exploded. "Every single fucking time I come out on a call you are already here killing MY hollow!!! What gives, man?! Don't you have a life??!!" He was now right up in Renji's face, his face all red, yelling at the confused man.

"Um, actually, my life, if you can call it that, is all about killing hollows if you didn't forget." Renji said glaring back at Ichigo. "In fact, the whole reason I came here was to help with this hollow problem, remember?! And I get here before you because I can sense their reiatsu while you have to wait for that stupid badge to go off before you know they are around. So, if you don't plan on getting here sooner, then just plan on leaving all the hollow killing to me!" Here Renji stabbed one finger at his chest and glared superiorly down his nose at Ichigo, who was still fuming. Ichigo huffed and puffed and stomped and then turned right around and walking right past Yumichika without even looking at him he called out, "Come on Yumichika, we're going back now!"

Poor Yumichika looked between the haughty Renji and the miffed Ichigo, shrugged his shoulders and cast an apologetic look at Renji and then ran off to catch up with the pissed off orange haired boy.

Ichigo didn't speak one word until he had jumped back through his window and settled back down into his human body. Yumichika just followed suit silently, slipping back into his body and putting the pill back in its case. He sunk back down on the chair he had occupied before the whole hollow incident and looked curiously at Ichigo who just sat there on his bed staring at nothing.

"Um, Ichigo," Yumichika began hesitantly, "You know, Renji was just doing his job. You didn't have to blow up at him. Besides, think about it this way, by not having to fight the hollow you didn't have to risk marring that beautiful face of yours!"

"Yeah, yeah, whatever," Ichigo started to mumble, then he stopped cold and slowly turned his wide eyes onto Yumichika. He gulped audibly and then managed to choke out, "Did you just say my face was beautiful?"

The black haired man tilted his head to the side thoughtfully and said, "Hmmm…yes, I believe I did just say that."

Ichigo's eyes went even wider if that was possible and he scooted back slightly on the bed. "Are you, are you hitting on m, me?" He stammered out.

"Well, that wasn't my purpose when I said that, but you can take it that way if you want. You are hot you know, Ichigo." This was said with a mischievous little grin on Yumichika's face.

Ichigo blanched and glanced about the room as if looking for a way of escape from the crazy man in front of him. He looked as if he was afraid that Yumichika would eat him alive at any given moment. Said man found that look extremely humorous, but not wanting Ichigo to bolt up and tear out of the room for really no reason at all he spoke up calmly and quietly. "Didn't you want to know which of your other friends are gay? I think that's where we left off before the hollow alert, right?"

Ichigo looked carefully at Yumichika. If this creepy man was willing to tell him what he wanted to know then maybe he could put up with the threat of being molested that the man posed just to find out the answer to the question that was burning in his mind. Yes, he could deal with this. Damn, he could fight Yumichika off if he had too, no big deal right? Yes, pretty much anything was worth it to find out which of his many friends were gay. Knowing this could make things much more comfortable for him, or uncomfortable, depending on how you looked at it. He chose to believe that if he knew which ones of his friends were gay then he could be careful not to say or do unintentionally suggestive things around them. Yep, exactly. He SOOO needed to know, now! He looked Yumichika squarely in the eyes at that last thought and said, "Yes, I do want to know! You, you can just start where you left off before the hollow." He then sat back on his bed to make himself comfortable while he heard this all important news.

Yumichika grinned and said, "Okay, now where did I leave off, oh, yes, the human world and the one friend that you really should suspect without anyone hinting to you about him. Thought of who I mean, yet?" He looked expectantly at Ichigo who was thinking really hard and not coming up with anything. He sighed then, _this boy is so hopeless, but so cute when he thinks too hard_, he thought to himself with an inner giggle.

"Um, is it Chad maybe?" Ichigo questioned though he looked a little disturbed at that thought and made a face.

"Aghhh!!" Yumichika groaned and clapped a hand to his face. "No, it's not Chad! Believe it or not that boy is as straight as they come. I can tell!!! Besides, I think he has a crush on Inoue."

"He has a crush on INOUE??!!" Ichigo practically yelled, staring in consternation at the calm man in front of him. "What the fuck?! How come I never saw this?!"

"Well, because you aren't very observant, Ichigo my dear. You just aren't." The black haired man shook his head ruefully.

"What the…! Did you just call me 'my dear'? And I am too, observant, I just don't pay attention to things that aren't that important!" He spluttered indignantly.

Yumichika laughed at that. "Yes, well, that is the definition of observant, Ichigo. Paying attention to all things, even those that don't seem so important. Usually those small details turn out to be the ones that are the most important."

"Fuck you!" Ichigo muttered half under his breath, but Yumichika heard it nevertheless and a smile crossed his face.

"Gladly," he said in a seductive, almost purring sort of voice. Ichigo's head jerked up and he stared at Yumichika as if the man was a monster straight out of a horror movie. "I didn't mean it that way!" Ichigo practically yelped. _Damn that man_, he thought, _all he did was say one word and now I have the shivers_. The orange haired boy carefully rubbed both his arms as if to warm himself and eyed Yumichika out of the corner of his eyes. He must be careful what he said around this man, the freaking pedophile with the pretty face. As he thought this he stopped rubbing his arms to slap himself in the face. He DID NOT just think that Yumichika had a pretty face. No way in HELL!!! He growled low in his throat and glaring up at Yumichika he practically commanded, "Okay, so if not Chad, who?!"

Yumichika chuckled. The boy was like an open book. He could read him sooo easily and he knew how that one word he had spoken so seductively had affected the boy. Oh yes, he would get this boy to admit that he was gay, or at least bi, very, very soon. "Well," he continued as if nothing at all had happened. "Since you really can't seem to see the obvious I guess I'll just have to tell you. Does the name, Ishida Uryuu, mean anything to you?"

Ichigo jumped a few feet off the bed as if he had just been shot. "No way in hell! Seriously?! Uryuu??!!

"Um, yeah, the signs are all there. Just think. He sews, he wears girly clothes, he is way too graceful for a boy, I mean, even the way he wears his hair! Just think about it for a minute Ichigo." Yumichika said in exasperation. And Ichigo did think about it and he came to the conclusion that Yumichika was right and he had just been ignorant and blind this whole entire time. Or maybe he just hadn't wanted to see what was right in front of him and so his subconscious had kept him from realizing it. Yep, that's the one he would go with.

"Okay, okay, so I guess I see that." Ichigo admitted, "Though it is kinda creepy. Okay, who's next?"

Yumichika just grinned. "Well, in the human world I guess you already know about Chizuru."

"Yeah, who doesn't," Ichigo groaned. "She's always all over poor Inoue."

"Okay, then, well, let's see…living in the human world…hmmm." Yumichika stared at the ceiling and tapped at his chin thoughtfully. "Well, there are a few that are bi, but they lean more towards women so I don't think you really need to know about them. And then, oh YES! One important one!" His eyes gleamed as he leaned forward and looked at Ichigo in a way that made him shiver and shrink back.

"Uh, who?" Ichigo asked in a small voice.

"Hehe," Yumichika chuckled sadistically. "I'm giving your secret away! And to one of the people you really like!" He practically sang to the ceiling. Then he looked back at Ichigo and stage whispered, "Urahara Kisuke!"

_Okay, sorry for another cliffhanger! My internet decided to start working again suddenly so I thought I'd take advantage of that fact and post this before it quit working on me again. I'll try to get another chapter out soon! Review if you like it! Oh, and you can tell me if there is anyone you want to see on Yumichika's 'Gay List', and I'll try to make it happen._


	4. Chapter 4

_Yay! Thanks for the reviews! I love reviews! They make me sooo happy! To Blue-eyed Fox – thank you for that wonderful idea! I'll see if I can find a way to add into the story the people who want to get some of Ichigo's hot ass! Wouldn't that embarrass him?! Oh yes, the man sex is coming, just a little bit longer. I don't think Ichigo is quite mentally ready for that yet. __ But it will be soon! Anyone who has any ideas about who should be gay or who should like Ichigo can go ahead and send them to me in a review!!! Okay, on with the story!_

Chapter 4: Too much info.?

Ichigo sat perfectly still. He was stunned into silence by that last little revelation from Yumichika. His eyes were round as saucers and his mouth hung open as he simply gaped at the black haired man in front of him who had a rather smug look on his face. He never would have thought, not in a million years, really, not even if he'd been hit over the head with it, that Urahara Kisuke was gay. For some odd reason he completely believed Yumichika, however. He really had no idea how he had come to trust Yumichika so much in the course of just a few hours. He simply did. So now he finally managed to gasp out, "Hat 'n Clogs?! You're serious?!"

Yumichika just grinned deviously and said, "Of course I'm serious, I'm not about to lie to you about this stuff! He's as gay as they come! Or, well, he could be bi…hmmm…naw I think that was just in the past. He once had a thing for Yoruichi, when he was young, at least that's what everyone said, but apparently nothing ever came of it and I've never heard of him being with a woman since. Yes, he's most definitely gay now!"

Ichigo just stared at Yumichika as he finished his sentence. Outwardly he looked completely stunned but inwardly his brain was working a mile a minute trying to decide if anything Urahara had ever done to him or while around him could be perceived as even remotely gay. Slowly his body began to go into shock as he thought about all the intimate training exercises, the way Urahara looked at him, addressed him, it was all plain now. Hell, the guy might even have the hots for him! This was all just too disturbing! Why oh why had he ever wanted Yumichika to give him this information in the first place?! Oh yeah, so he knew who to avoid, ahem, act carefully around. But did he really want to know this? His brain was going on overload and thankfully Yumichika noticed this and he leaned forward and grabbed Ichigo by the shoulders and gave him a rather violent shake that snapped his head backwards and then forwards in a most painful way.

"Yow!" yelped Ichigo, snapping out of his shocked state and shoving Yumichika roughly away. Yumichika fell gracefully back into his chair and glared at Ichigo.

"You were going into shock Ichigo," he half growled as the kid glared daggers at him and massaged his poor abused neck and shoulders. "I had to do something you know."

"Yeah, but did you have to get so violent?!" Ichigo grumbled, half pouting now about the rough treatment from Yumichika.

"It was necessary," was all Yumichika would say, crossing his arms over his chest and giving Ichigo an appraising look. He was so adorable when he pouted!

"Fine, fine, then just get on with the list already. It can't get any worse than it already is." Ichigo mumbled. Then his head shot up and he looked carefully at Yumchika. "Can it?"

Yumichika just grinned conspiratorially and said, "Well, we shall see what you think of as worse." And he winked at the poor, disturbed orange haired boy who simply shrank back in horror. "So, oh yes, people here on earth. Um, well, actually, I can't really think of anyone else here on earth. Oh yeah, except maybe Asano Keigo. I really haven't figured him out yet, but the way he acts, so emotional and so attached to his guy friends and always flying at you out of nowhere to hug you. Yes, he could possibly be gay, or bi. I still haven't really figured him out yet and most of me doesn't want to. I NEVER want to set foot in that mad house he calls a home again!!!" Here he grabbed at his precious hair and wailed, "Alas for me, I fear that Ikkaku may drag me right back there! No, who am I kidding?! I know he will!"And now followed a series of moans and groans and careful hair pulling.

Ichigo raised one eyebrow very slowly and stared at his gossip buddy's mental breakdown, or rather minor mental meltdown. It couldn't be completely called a breakdown since he wasn't actually pulling out his hair and he was groaning and moaning very 'gracefully' or 'beautifully' as he would probably put it. So, it was really just more of a minor meltdown caused by the complete 'ugliness' of Keigo's household. Who, by the way, Ichigo had always subconsciously suspected of being gay or something. Ichigo shook his head and finally yelled, "Yo, Yumi, dude! Cute it out already! Look, if you hate it over there that much you can just stay with me! Rukia ain't here right now so it's okay until she gets back at least."

Yumichika quit groaning and raised his head, carefully smoothing out his hair and asked quietly, "You sure, Ichigo? You wouldn't mind sharing your room with a gay man?"

Ichigo blushed and glanced at the ground. "Naw man, it's okay. Just as long as you don't try to molest me in my sleep. If you do that I swear I'll kill you." He raised his head and glared at Yumichika on this last sentence.

Yumichika tilted his head to the side and smiled. "Of course I won't try to molest you in your sleep, silly! I'm a nice guy! Seriously! Oh, and did you call me Yumi, just a minute ago?"

Ichigo blanched, "Yeah dude, um, is that a problem too?"

"Actually, no, I happen to like that name. That name IS beautiful. So, go right on ahead and call me Yumi all you want." And he grinned benevolently at Ichigo.

_Okay, creepy much?_ Ichigo thought to himself, but he let it pass. "So, the list, the list, I guess we are on Soul Society now, huh?" Ichigo queried, anxious to get on with this.

"Ah yes, Soul Society...damn, where to start?!" Yumichika growled lowly staring at the floor in frustration.

"WHAT?!!" Ichigo shouted. "You don't mean to tell me there are that many gay dudes in Soul Society?!" He looked vaguely worried and disturbed.

Yumichika grinned. "Well, actually, yes. And no. I mean, I guess most of them are probably technically bi, but of the guys who are bi I'd say most lean towards other guys. Oh and there are a few bi girls too. Oh yes...you'll never guess!" And he leaned teasingly towards Ichigo and grinned annoyingly. Ichigo glared at him and then leaned backwards on his hands to look at the ceiling.

"Well, I could tell you right off that Soi Fong is gay. Man, anyone can tell she has the hots for Yoruichi!And as much as I don't want to say it or admit it I'm leaning towards thinking that Yoruichi is bi, 'cause man, she really seems to like Soi Fong just a bit too much, dontcha' think?" Ichigo leaned forward to look right at Yumichika as he said the last bit.

Now it was Yumichika's turn to be surprised. "Damn, boy, you are more observant than I thought! And yes, you are right. Soi Fong is gay and Yoruichi is bi. And yes, they do have a thing."

"Ha! Knew it!" Ichigo cried triumphantly, punching the air with a fist.

Yumichika grinned, "But there are two other girls you haven't guessed yet."

"Really?" Ichigo asked, somewhat surprised. He sincerely thought he guessed all the ones that Yumichika would tell him about. "Who else?"

"Ichi, dear, I don't know if you are ready for this or not," Yumichika said, slowly shaking his head and measuring Ichigo's 'readiness' with his gaze.

"Oh damn it, tell me already Yumi!" He practically yelled at the poor man, completely letting the whole 'ichi dear' comment slide, even though he definitely heard it.

"Okay, okay," Yumichika soothed, raising both hands in submission. "But you aren't going to like it." He scooted back his chair carefully to get out of range of a soon to be explosive Ichigo and then blurted the names out quickly. "Matsumoto and Rukia."

_HaHa! Another cliffhanger! I'm good at this! Sorry! Anyways, this took forever because of my new computer and my total lack of a word processor for the past week or more. But now, I have one, albeit only OpenOffice, but it does work. So, here you go! Thanks again for reviewing!!!_

_Oh and I'm all hyped up on hydrocodone for my bronchitis, so excuse if this is more erratic and incoherent than usual!_


	5. Chapter 5

_Thank you for all the lovely reviews, they help so much! I love all the ideas you all have, too! I try to incorporate as many as possible into the story. I got this one out so fast this time because I got inspired, at work, while cleaning dog crap. Why, I don't know. But here you go!_

Chapter 5: Confessions

"What about me?" asked Rukia in a sweet voice as she floated in Ichigo's still open bedroom window, dressed in her shinigami garb, moving as silently as death itself. Both men jerked their heads up and Ichigo swung around so fast he nearly fell on his back. Rukia landed on the bed and looked carefully at Ichigo and Yumichika. Both men were looking rather white, almost as if they had just seen a ghost._ This is highly suspicious_, she thought. However, before she could question the men about their pasty faces and knee jerk reactions, Ichigo suddenly regained his voice.

"RUKIA!" He shouted, yes shouted at her, while pointing very rudely. "I thought you left for Soul Society for a week! Why are you here?!" He looked like he was about to hyperventilate, his face was strawberry red and his cheeks all puffed out.

"Whoa, Ichigo, calm down. I was going to Soul Society, but then I remembered that I forgot my blanket! I can't sleep without my blanket you know!" And she grinned at the boys as she hopped off the bed and glided over to the closet door which she slid open and then proceeded to rummage around inside the closet. Meanwhile Yumichika and Ichigo exchanged worried glances. They knew she was going to question them about why they had been talking about her and what they had said. Frankly, Yumichika was beginning to fear for his life, or at least, his sanity. Sure, in Soul Society stuff like sexual orientation wasn't really kept a secret and pretty much everyone knew about Rukia and the others, but he also knew that Rukia had purposefully kept this a secret from Ichigo after noticing that he was slightly homophobic. The black haired shinigami was seriously starting to consider finding Inoue Orihime now and having her stand by for the emergency medical treatment he was sure he would need when Rukia was done with him. He was about to slip out of his seat and disappear when they suddenly heard a triumphant cry from the closet.

"Ha! Found it!" And Rukia turned around to face the two petrified men with a snuggly looking blue blanket grasped in her hands and held tightly to her chest, a rapturous look on her face. Her audience's mouths dropped open as they stared at the blanket. For printed all over this cuddly blanket were fluffy little white bunnies hopping around or sleeping, even hugging one another. "Ah, I can not sleep without this blanket, these cute little bunnies make me soooo happy!" And she sighed in delight, burying her head in the cutesy blanket. For one brief moment Yumichika thought he was off the hook as she seemed so taken up in her blanket loving, but then she pulled a Rukia trade mark move and snapped her head up sharply and glared at Yumichika. "So," she began suspiciously, "What were saying about me Yumichika?"

Yumichika looked nervously from the left to the right and then looked sheepishly back at Rukia. "I, um, was just telling Ichigo some things he didn't know about certain people. It wasn't anything big, really, practically everyone knows already as it is. No need to get violent or anything!" and Yumichika waved his hands about in front of his face in a placating gesture, his eyes looking a little bit wild.

Rukia's glare turned harder. "Ayasegawa Yumichika! What in the name of all three realms did you tell that boy?!"

The petite shinigami seemed to Yumichika's eyes to grow several feet in height as she uttered this sentence and he shrank back in his chair and mumbled, "I only told him that you and Matsumoto were bi."

There was a moment of deafening silence and then Rukia descended on Yumichika in all her fury, using her blanket, which she had twisted up in a split second, to flay at Yumichika's head. "The HELL, Yumichika?! I though we agreed not to tell the strawberry that! And then you just go blurting it out?! He probably hates me now, you ass!!!" At the end of each sentence she gave the poor shinigami a

particularly hard slap with her blanket-whip. "You poor, poor excuse for a friend! You traitorous little rat! To think I trusted you!!! The rabid little bunnies will eat your soul!!!" And here she trailed off into a string of choice swear words and curses that really don't bear repeating.

Ichigo, meanwhile, just sat cowering in a corner on his bed. No way in hell that he was going up against an angered Rukia to help out Yumichika. Nope, the dude was on his own, big time! He watched in horrid fascination as Rukia consistently and expertly snapped her whip on each side of Yumichika's flawless face. The man himself looked like he was nearly in tears. Ichigo thought he could just barely make out the desperate words, "no, not my face, my beautiful, perfect face! No!" through the sounds of Rukia's screams and the smack of the whip. Then, suddenly, just as quickly as she had started the onslaught, Rukia stopped. She quit swinging the blanket-whip and quit screaming her head off. Instead, she put both hands on her hips, the blanket swinging at her side from one clenched fist, and glared at Yumichika. "I am not staying here to see what his reaction to this news is. I'm leaving. I'm already late and they are going to be mad at me. So, fix this mess and he better not act awkward around me the next time we meet or else you are in for a world of hurt much worse than this. Oh yes," she cackled evilly, "much worse than this! AND, I will NOT spare your flawless face and hair that you take so much pride in. So, fix it, boy! I'll see you both in a week!" She gave Ichigo a very pointed look as well and then swept out of the room, through the window, blanket still clutched tightly in her hand, heading for Soul Society with all the pomp and majesty of a queen heading back to her castle after having roundly scolded the peasants.

Ichigo and Yumichika sat there in stunned silence for a few minutes just staring out the window that the angry woman had disappeared out of. Neither of them really knew what to do or say at that moment. The whole thing had been like a horrible dream or a really bad storm that comes on quickly, makes a ton of damage, and then leaves as if it never happened in the first place. After a moment, however, they both slowly turned to look at each other.

"Dude," Ichigo whispered, breaking the silence first. "That was scary! But wow, I really didn't expect Rukia to be bi, but I guess I can see it if I look closely. You know, I had a crush on her in the beginning," and he grinned, "but then I kind of realized she doesn't think of me that way and also, man, she can be scary sometimes!"

Yumichika was busy combing down his crazily messed up hair with his hands and making little fussing noises, but he was listening to Ichigo with part of his mind. _Whew_, he thought,_ then that means there won't be another reason for me to get beaten up. At least Ichigo won't mind that she is bi and won't treat her differently_. Out loud he said, "Hmm...Ichigo, it seems that you are becoming more accepting of this whole idea of gayness. Am I right?" He gave his hair one last pat and then tilted his head to look quizzically at Ichigo.

Ichigo blushed a bit and looked off somewhere behind Yumichika. "Yeah, well, maybe." he mumbled. "I mean, it isn't so bad, and all those people, minus Urahara, are normal, nice people. I guess I've just been prejudiced. Or scared. I mean, I've never really been attracted to girls all that much. Tatsuki was my friend as a kid, and Rukia was a little crush I had, but I've never really been ATTRACTED to girls, if you know what I mean. Of course, I've never really been attracted to guys either, so maybe I'm just asexual, but now, I'm not so sure I'll be as quick to rule out that I might be bi. Doesn't sound like it's such a bad thing, and if Rukia's bi and she's such an awesome person then I don't really have to be scared of being bi, do I?"

Yumichika listened calmly, although with a bit of surprise at Ichigo's bit of twisted logic that ended up as a confession. Well, sure he had been bent on getting Ichigo to admit that he was gay, but he really hadn't seen it happening this quickly. So maybe going through the pain and humiliation of being attacked by Rukia was worth it in the end! But of course he would never tell her that! When Ichigo was finished talking Yumichika smiled and said, "No reason to be scared of being bi, or gay, or really anything that society sees as different. It just means it's you and you have to accept what makes you 'you' or else you can never really start to live. So, I'm proud of you Ichigo! Congratulations!" He clapped his hands and fairly beamed at Ichigo.

"Whoa, dude, now don't go telling everybody yet! It's one thing to admit it to you and myself and a whole other thing to go tell the whole wide world and all my friends. Let's keep this under wraps for now, 'kay?" And Ichigo looked anxiously at Yumichika, waiting for his promise that he wouldn't tell anyone else.

Yumichika sighed. Always one step back, he thought. Oh well. "I promise, Ichigo, I won't tell anyone else until you are ready to tell them. Now, I'm tired, it's late and I want to sleep." He yawned, stood up, stretched and started talking his clothes off.

Ichigo let out a sound that resembled a yelp and leapt off the bed. "Do that somewhere else man! For the love of sanity! And you are sleeping in the closet!" With that, Ichigo stomped off to the bathroom to change, grabbing a shirt on his way out. When he got back from the bathroom he was shocked to find Yumichika sitting in the middle of his bed with nothing but boxers on, one knee propped up and his arm draped over it, the other leg bent under his raised one and his other hand holding himself up. He just stood there in his shirt and boxers and gaped. "I thought I told you you were sleeping in the closet, like Rukia does!" he bellowed.

"Ichi dear, that is all nice and lovely for the small and short Rukia, but I am a man, Ichi dear, and I cannot fit in that closet. So, I just thought I'd sleep with you!" Here Yumichika smiled rather happily.

Ichigo opened his mouth, shut it, glanced at the closet and then back at Yumichika and finally sighed, his shoulders slumping in defeat. "Alright, you can sleep in the bed with me, but if you touch me I WILL KILL YOU!!!" He glared daggers at Yumi from under tousled orange hair. Yumichika almost swooned. The boy didn't know how fucking HOT he was!

"Thank you, Ichigo," Yumichika nearly purred, "I promise to keep my hands off of you in your sleep."

"Good," Ichigo growled as he climbed into the bed on the side nearest the wall, slunk under the covers and yanked them up to his chin as Yumichika slid off them to climb underneath them with Ichigo. The orange haired teen promptly rolled over on his side with his back facing Yumichika and snuggled up with the wall. The dark haired shinigami grinned as he lay underneath the covers and stared at the boy's back. Oh yes, he would get that hot piece of man meat to himself one of these days. Oh yes!

There was a grunt from Ichigo's side of the bed and then Yumichika heard, "Tomorrow you finish telling me who else is gay. 'Night Yumi."

Yumichika grinned again. "'Night Ichi."

_Hope everyone enjoyed this chapter. It's not moving too fast, is it?_


	6. Chapter 6

_Wow, okay everyone...sorry it's been soooo long since I last updated! I was kind of shocked when I realized how long it's been. A ton of things have happened since I last wrote. I moved to Alabama, then back to North Carolina, changed jobs and got married! My life has just now started to slow down. Whew, boy am I glad! Thank you to everyone who reviewed. You helped me make up my mind to pick this story back up. :) So, back to it! Don't want to keep you waiting any longer._

The sun shone softly through the window the next morning as if blessing the two sleeping men who shared the small bed. Even the birds seemed to be singing happily. That is until Ichigo's door practically blew off its hinges as the loudest man in the world (next to Ichigo himself) burst through it with a flying kick, prepared to pounce on his unsuspecting son.

"Ichigo, my son! Wake up and smell the wonderful morning air!" He howled as he started into a flying leap onto his son's bed. However, the leap was interrupted very ungracefully and he fell back onto the floor with a shriek when he noticed that the bed was occupied by two people instead of one as was normal. "Ichigo, my son! What is this about?" The dark haired man cried dramatically, scooting back on his knees, one hand pointing at his son's bed and the other on his heart for dramatic effect.

"Aww dad, come on now!" Ichigo grumbled groggily, sitting up and scratching at his head, eyes still closed. "Why do you have to be so loud so early in the morning? Cantcha' ever let me sleep in?" He opened one eye to glare sleepily at his dad, which is when he noticed the shocked look on his dad's face and his over dramatic pose. He cocked his head to the side for a minute trying to think what would shock his dad like that and then he glanced down at the bed. Both eyes popped open wide as he saw the sleeping form of one Ayasegawa Yumichicka in HIS bed. The events of the night before came flooding back to him and he too screamed, albeit with more horror in his voice than his father as he leapt straight up out of the bed and tumbled across the floor. He lay there for a moment clutching his chest, thinking that his brain must have been addled with exhaustion to allow a GUY, let alone a GAY GUY to sleep in the same bed as him!

Everything was completely silent for a moment and then a sighing sound came from the bed and Yumichika slowly sat up. He stretched and yawned and started smoothing out his gorgeous black hair. As he did so he calmly looked back and forth between father and son who, comically, had the same expressions on their faces. He shook his head in mirth as a smile appeared on his face. "Ah, Kurosaki-san," he said then, addressing Ichigo's dad. "I'm sorry to have startled you. You see, I came over here last night to chat with Ichigo and it just got so late that I decided to stay here for the night. And, as there was no where else to sleep Ichigo gracefully let me share his bed. You have a kind son, Kurosaki-san." Yumichika kicked up the flattery, hoping to make Isshin's suspicions die down so he would leave the room. Surprisingly, it worked.

"Ah, well of course. My son is most kind and caring!" Isshin grinned as he stood up. "Very sorry to have disrupted your sleep. I shall now go and tell Misaki what a wonderfully giving son we have!" With that he skipped merrily out of the room to go fawn over his over sized poster of his late wife.

With Isshin gone Yumichika turned to Ichigo slowly. Ichigo was still staring at him like he'd seen a ghost. Yumi sighed. "Ichigo, I thought you were over this last night."

"I-I was, I mean, I am...I mean, I thought I was, but waking up and seeing you laying next to me and my dad right there and that crazy dream I had. Well...gah, who knows anymore!" the orange haired boy cried, throwing his hands up in the air in frustration. He stared at the floor for a moment and then let his gaze drift up to Yumichika who was looking at him curiously, one fine eyebrow raised. A light blush stole across Ichigo's face and he quickly looked away, trying to hide the blush by jumping to his feet and walking over to his closet.

Yumichika chuckled lightly. "What dream, Ichi dear?" He asked with amusement in his voice.

Ichigo stopped still by the door to his closet, his back tense. Then he slid open the door of his closest just as hard as he could and growled out, "Look man, I'm not ready to talk about THAT particular dream just yet." He grabbed up his school clothes and made for the bedroom door. "I have to go to school now," he said lowly without turning around, "but when I get back you're going to finish telling me who in soul society is gay. I can't stand not knowing now, thanks to you. It's eating me up." He glanced behind him for a second to find Yumichika just sitting in the middle of his bed with no shirt on, calmly gazing at him. His finely chiseled upper body seeming to almost glow in the morning light. Ichigo's face blazed with a brilliant red color as he yelped and dashed out of the room.

Yumichika laughed again and said thoughtfully to no one in particular, "Hmmm...this is getting interesting. Now the boy can't even look at me without blushing. Haha! And he's so damn cute when he blushes. Note to self: Make Ichi blush as much as possible." He grinned maniacally at that thought and set about thinking of more ways to make Ichigo blush as he got up to get dressed.

_Okay, my friends, sorry this was so short, but I have work in the morning and I just had to get SOMETHING, ANYTHING, written. This was buzzing around in my head. So there you go. Hope you enjoy! Once again, sorry about the long wait!_

_Matane!_


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